Bondage is often misunderstood and occasionally maligned. Those two facts are not unconnected so before proceeding any further I will explain my take on bondage and why it is something that whilst not for everyone, can form part of a varied and healthy sexual relationship.
It is important that everyone who indulges in bondage play remembers two things. First and most importantly that everyone involved in your bondage play must consent at every stage. Consent cannot be assumed - it must be explicitly and freely given. Secondly, a safe word must be agreed upon by all participants. If speech is impaired during play some other form of safe signal would probably be appropriate. Without the ability for participants to withdraw consent at any time you run the risk of turning what can be an exciting adventure of sexual exploration into an unpleasant and distressing experience.
I would like to dispel the myth that bondage is about inflicting pain and discomfort. It can involve both, but the psychological aspects of bondage are often far more potent and important for most people. The simple act of restricting someone's movements by using your own body to pin them down, tying them up with a silk scarf, shackling them with restraints or binding them in bondage tape are all facets of bondage and all have one thing in common - the transfer of control from one partner to the other.
Sometimes called "power exchange" this is the most potent aspect of bondage and the wider elements of BDSM. To allow someone total control over your will requires that you trust them completely.
Physical bondage is the aspect of bondage that most people will think of when they consider introducing the idea of bondage play to their partner. It is best to begin with something simple and none threatening like an old tie or a scarf. Incidentally, it might be a good idea to use a scarf you no longer care for as bondage play can get quite physical and a well loved scarf may become a little bit distressed in the throes of passion.
It's a good idea to find a time when you are both relaxed to suggest bondage for the first time. One of the best ways of doing so is to suggest that you try it out on each other, rather than "Darling I'd like to hog-tie you tonight ..."
When you are both in agreement about what you want and are prepared, choose a safe word as mentioned above, get relaxed, get undressed and get down.
Where you go from there is up to you ...
Sam Teal is moderator or http://www.my-sexhealth.com/news My sex health is site providing news, products and articles for a better sex life. Regardless of sexual orientation creed or gender.
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